Blog: Testimonial 1

I came to Halli married, miserable, angry, and confused. I had won the lottery of evangelical Christianity - a member of a small, tight-knit, Bible believing church, with a husband who played on the worship team on Sundays, and a group of other engaged girl friends in their early twenties to attend small group with on Wednesdays. We had a great life on the surface, filled with road trips, concerts, and countless late nights hanging out with siblings and friends. So there shouldn’t have been any reason that I was anxious and on edge all the time.

The empty hole inside of me, the things I didn’t dare to say out loud, were always there, threatening to swallow me whole. I hated sex; I lived under the constant shadow of how many days or nights it had been since I’d last given in, and I kept him at arm’s length whenever possible. I knew deep down that the way we fought wasn’t normal, and the way I dreamed about my pretty blonde friends wasn’t normal either. I knew I needed help overcoming my aversion to sex, but I didn’t know yet that the true radical acceptance I would need was for the eventual abrupt end of my marriage, and the beginning of finding my own sexuality.

Halli walked with me through the entire process of blowing my entire life up and standing by the crater. When I was at my very lowest, physically weak and emotionally traumatized, I had her, one call away, to be my completely non-judgmental support system. She had been there, and I needed someone who knew exactly what I was talking about, or crying about when I couldn’t even get the words out.

I gained my autonomy, independence, confidence, and joy back in my new, single, lesbian life, free of my former bonds of shame, fear of the future, and hiding from myself. It was not an easy process, but it was made much more bearable accompanied by a coach who had gone through the same rollercoaster of divorce and deconstruction, and who was my biggest cheerleader as I came into my identity, had many firsts, exchanged my old social circles for new ones in new cities, and experienced my adult life, in a way, for the very first time.

Being supported by someone you feel seen and understood by is the top priority for a coaching relationship like this, and I could not be more thankful.